Did you really want to know?

Carrie Beth emailed me earlier this week:

Hi there, How is Lila doing this week so far??

My reply:

Aside from a raging case of anorexia, she’s delightful! She’s been fever-free since Friday, and has been pretty much herself. Except that she no longer likes to eat. WHO IS THIS CHILD, and WHO ARE HER PARENTS?? We don’t quite understand the whole fiasco, but she’s holding strong, eating only when she deems it absolutely necessary, and only then IF it’s the exact right temperature and flavor and timing and the bottle is held JUST right and such. And then she’ll only take 3-4 ounces. OH, except in the middle of the night when she is too sleepy to remember her severe anorexia and suddenly wants to binge eat off my boob. Yay me. I’m thinking maybe she just has a lot of drainage going to her belly and keeping it full so she’s not feeling as hungry. I hope that’s all it is.

So fun story about Miss I’llonlyeatonmyownwhim… I woke her up this morning, got her all dressed and cute and fresh with her little matching socks and hat and all, then headed to the kitchen to get the bottle she was inevitably going to refuse, when I heard the unmistakable sound of the poo. It’s distinctive. So I turned right around and headed back to change her bottom before it squished out the legs. I was successful and had her all cleaned up on the changing table, but she was still making those little grunty squeaky sounds that babies make and squeezing out bits of poo, so I was cleaning as I went when IT happened. Yes, IT with all caps. She blew a LOAD of poo ALL over the changing table. And the nightstand. And the floor. And her MAMA. And into her open tub of Aquaphor. Oh, and there was pee involved as well. The nursery is destroyed. I didn’t even know where to start, so I cleaned her as best I could on the saturated stained table, put her naked self in the crib with a blanket between her legs, and started stripping the changing table. I used the soiled table cover to sop up what I could off the floor, but I’m not sure what I’ll do about the rug. I had to completely change my clothes, and completely redress her. I guess it’s a good thing she’s in her anorexic phase, because she didn’t even dare ask about her bottle after all the drama. I swear she just laid in her bed laughing at me. I’m copying mom on this email because I couldn’t bear the pain of typing out the whole saga again. So aren’t you glad you asked how Lila’s doing?