In Which Clay Tries to Off His Newlywed Bride:

Ok, so maybe he didn't actually try to "off" me, but it did kinda feel like it at the time.

Yesterday Clay had to work. Very sad, but them's the breaks. Dear friend Doug invited me to go to brunch and the zoo with him, though, so I made my plans and went on about my day. I had a lovely brunch at Toast on Market downtown, then we headed to the zoo for Doug to practice with his photography skills. We wandered about the zoo for approximately three hours. It was a lovely time on a BEAUTIFUL day. As we were leaving the zoo, Amy (the red-head one) called to see if I'd like to do a bit of shopping. Amy and I are really good at shopping. So we caroused about Louisville doing shopping. As you probably know, this is FAR more energy than I typically expound on a lazy Saturday. So I finally crawled home to meet Clay around 3:30ish, and I was thrilled to find him resting. I joined him, thinking I was in for a looong summer nap. But no. He was already rested and ready to get up and start his day. It was time for coffee!! He was going to ride his bike to the coffee shop, which would have sounded nice if I hadn't been dog tired. I told him to go on without me. Nap was calling. But then...at the last minute, I popped out of bed and decided to go with him. I really didn't want to, but I have a fear that Clay is going to ride so much more than me that he gets all better than me at riding, then he won't want to ride with me anymore because I'll slow him down. SO I made myself ride along.

The trip from our house to the coffee shop is STRAIGHT UP A HILL. I never realized this before. Just because they call the neighborhood the "HIGHlands", I don't think they had any right to put it on a mountain. Each time we reached the "top" of the hill, I looked up only to see another bigger one in front of us. Clay was getting so far ahead of me that I couldn't even see him. I had my bike in the lowest gear, and was huffing and puffing like I was going to blow a gasket. I wanted to vomit, but I didn't have time because I was trying to catch Clay.

As we topped the last hill, my face was a funny shade of purple, and I'm not sure I was even breathing at all anymore. A fellow cyclist whizzed by me, and yelled back, "New bike??" Gee, what gave me away? Anyway, I made it to the coffee shop without vomiting, and I was SO eagerly looking forward to the trip home. I mean, if we went up all of those hills on the way there, then the trip home should be straight down hill!! I LOVE to go down hills! I'm GOOD at going down hills. Here, though, is where things get tricky. We took a different route home, and it was NOT downhill. It was up more hills, and some flat spots, then up more hills. I do realize this defies common rationality, but I swear, the trip was uphill both ways. I live trapped in an M.C. Escher print.



I did survive, and eventually make it back home. However, once back home, I realized I had somehow lost the ability to walk. It was disconcerting. I kind of stumbled around the house for a while until I mustered up the energy to go to the grocery with Clay. He then took me to a fabulous Mexican dinner to make up for my pain. I ate and ate and felt no guilt, as I had definitely earned it. I slept like a rock last night, and woke up this morning quite sore. But not dead. So I have that going for me.

I think I got a little windy here, but I fear that some of my readers are starting to think Clay is perfect. Obviously, he has a death wish out for me, and all of you loyal readers here should know it. Watch my back for me, ok?